Do It Scared: The Indie Comics Edition
I learned along the way that, just like characters in stories, what I found wasn’t exactly what I was looking for. It was better.
We all talk ourselves out of things all the time. Out of taking a walk outside because we won’t be bothered to put on shoes. Out of picking up that book we’ve been wanting to read because we don’t have the time. Out of trying something new because there are lots of people doing it already and, oh god, we’ll never be as good as them.
Last month, I stumbled upon a flowchart that went something like this (forgive me the clumsy handwriting):
I don’t know who created the original one, but the oldest instance that I found was on this Reddit post.
Less than two years ago, I tried something new. I self-published a comic book. I didn’t know what I was doing, and a few volumes later, I’m still unsure if I do. But I learned along the way that, just like characters in stories, what I found wasn’t exactly what I was looking for. It was better.
I thought I just wanted to create a graphic novel. And in my innocence, I thought I’d do it in a few months or so. However, I didn’t have knowledge about publishing at all, and certainly, my writing and drawing skills weren’t enough to sustain a long project. But for some reason, I carried on.
And while learning all of these, I connected with people. Many in similar journeys to mine, others art lovers, others supporters of the indie comic book community. I reconnected with existing friends in ways that weren’t possible before. Because by doing one of the most difficult and more exhausting things in my life, I changed, and they changed too, since they were also pursuing their own tiring endeavours. We learned to treasure the moments when we are together. Because if someone busy is giving you their time, it means that they really want to, and that you are worth it for them.
Of course, I’m still learning how to create and publish comic books, brick by brick. With every page finished, there’s a new lesson. I’m still not good enough. I’ll probably never be. There’s so much to it!
Now that I learned to do a lot by myself, maybe it’s time to start reaching out and working with others. And I’m scared that it won’t work out. That if I hire an editor, they’ll find my story too silly and give up. That if I hire someone to help me colour my art they’ll find it too complex. That if I reach out to a publisher with the full story they’ll think it’s not worth a penny.
But I’ll carry on doing it scared. Doing it terrified, and tired. Perhaps one day it won’t be as scary. Perhaps it will feel natural.
But by then, it may be time to find something else and do it scared all over again.
Thank you for reading!
Should you be interested in checking out my work, you can do so here: https://claudiamatosa.com/shop
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